In Defense of Fire
Retro-Post Thursday

Touser The Born Again Poodle


This is (a bad picture of) Touser.

Picture of Uncooperative Touser who just wants to go back inside

He is a poodle who thinks he’s a real dog.
{n.b.- for all poodle lovers out there, that was a joke}

It’s just that most people who have met Touser have been surprised that he enjoys living with the “pack” outside.  He isn’t an indoor dog

.Though you can probably tell that by looking at him.

(It’s been my experience that indoor dogs are generally better groomed than outdoor dogs).

Touser used to be the most disagreeable canine on the face of the planet.

He hated all four of my boys.  He bit all four of my boys.  

(Well, they called it biting - I called it a nip and told them to stay away from him).

You see- he loved Girly Girl & she loved him, so we were stuck with him.

Touser used to escape from our yard on a fairly regular basis. I’d run all over the neighborhood looking like a deranged loon in my horrible house clothes, hollering for him like an idiot. 

He was inevitably found (damn it).  

He’d catch sight of us through that mangled hair of his and hunker down waggling his stubby tail between his legs. 

Since the move to the “hills” we’ve made certain the dog’s fence is secure.  And they’re put into their house in the garage at night.

We don’t want Touser to become a coyote snack no matter how many of us he’s bitten nipped.

Four years ago Touser was diagnosed with an inoperable hernia.The vet recommended “putting him down”.  

But we couldn’t do it.  

We watched him, looking for changes in his behavior or signs that he was in pain.

It was then that Touser evidently found Jesus.

It was really weird, but he turned into a Christian Poodle.

Yes Brothers and Sisters, Touser was Born Again.

He became kind, forgiving, he loved all of mankind, and he never bit nipped anyone again.

{Scott says he’s senile & is in his second puppyhood.  I prefer the Christian Poodle idea myself).

But this is the weirdest part:  the day Touser found Jesus he also fell in love with Scott.

Previously he had always avoided Scott, because Scott was Touser’s “groomer” and there was nothing Touser hated worse than being groomed.

Now he likes it.

And he follows Scott everywhere. He jumps all over Scott, wagging his tail, skittering on his back legs like a puppy and falling back onto that bustle butt of his.

Of course the hernia is getting worse.It’s made his rear end look enormous.

The past year or so people have actually asked me what kind of dog he is.  (Though the long hair may play a role there).

Naturally we’ve discussed Touser’s “condition” with the kids.  

Girly Girl was hysterical.  She ran up the stairs to her room, flung herself on her bed, and sobbed.

This is the hard part of living with a dog.

But I’m certainly glad we didn’t listen to that vet four years ago.  

I think these last four years have been some of Touser’s happiest.

He still has his Girly Girl to love him.

I baby him with extra treats when noone’s looking.

And he found Jesus and fell in love with a human male.

What more could a poodle want?

IOSW daug flowers