A continuing tale.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Son&Heir has his wisdom teeth removed this morning. Spends two hours in the dentist’s chair alternately attempting to sing with his mouth filled with dental equipment and grab at invisible unknown “somethings” evidently buzzing in the air above his face.
Comes home looking much the worse for wear and collapses on couch. Awakens at irregular intervals and will insist on updating his facebook status describing himself as a “sexy chickmunk” which I tell him makes no sense though naturally he does it anyway.
Leaving lucky Curlytop in charge, Scott and I depart to:
1- Take me to the allergist for much needed shots.
2- Finish much needed Christmas shopping.
On the upside we are massively successful at both of these. On the downside we are gone for simply hours and I realize with a horrid start whilst at Walmart* that we need to “go to the library”.
{N.B. Wednesday, being our usual library day, translates to our having nearly one hundred items due, including many dvd’s which accrue fines at the horrid rate of one dollar per day. This adds up quickly.
Don’t ask me how I know.}
We are then forced to Rush Through Walmart which, as any fool who has attempted it six days before Christmas during the prime evening hours, knows is absolutely impossible.
We persevere despite selecting, yet again, the slowest checker in the entire Walmart Corporation.
{Though she does always smile and say Merry Christmas when she sees my terrible tacky Santa Claus “Believe” shirt.
This almost makes up for the manner in which she slowly glides through her work.}
Zoom home (yes, we are fully capable of zooming when necessary). Cook walmart pizza for our dinner (really) and collect library items at record speed. Scott and Girly Girl head to library while I unload the entire Yukon load of stuff by myself listening to Son&Heir alternate between warbling swollen cheeked versions of “Nights In White Satin” and “American Pie”.
This results in massive sciatica pain and an excruciating headache.
I wipe my face clear of makeup, hit the shower, get into my “evening clothes” (ie: oversized T shirt, oversized jammie pants, socks, Christmas themed slippers, and large robe), and make a cuppa tea whilst nibbling pizza crusts which is the only part of a pizza pie I am able to eat without suffering a massive indigestion attack.
Everyone who hadn’t already returns home at this point. We switch on the dvd and watch Christmas movies – hearing only bits and pieces since Son&Heir will insist upon reciting and/or singing along with most of the dialogue and music.
In truth everyone finds this massively entertaining and decide more well loved (and thus mostly memorized) movies should be watched with Son&Heir loaded up on lortab.
Go to bed at a much too late hour, as usual. Tucking lortab away into a safe hiding spot beforehand as Son&Heir is definitely not to be trusted around such strange and dangerous concoctions.
One wonders whether anyone really is…
