Addiction
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Five Ways To Positively Lose Weight

 

All of which you no doubt already know, but aren’t paying attention to.

{I know that was the case with me for quite a while.}

So I’m going to repeat them again.

Right. Now.

 

1-  

Stop drinking soda, pop, whatever you call it.

Especially that diet stuff. 

 

2-  

Drink Water.  All. Day.  Long. 

{N.B.  If you are properly hydrated your urine should be the color of very weak lemonade.  Very weak.  And if you feel thirsty?  You’re probably already dehydrated.}

Filling up on water will also help you from overeating.

So keep that bottle, cup, glass (whatever) filled all day and drink up.

(And no you’re not allowed to add any alcohol to make it taste better).

This naturally brings us to Number 3:

 

3-  

Stop eating crap.

Now I don’t have a complete list of edible crap, though you can find some partial lists as well as some good things you certainly should and easily could be eating right here.

General Advice: 

-Don’t follow anything on the Teenage Boy Diet

-Eat vegetables, fruits, lean meats/proteins.  (Do not use butter, or cream or cheese sauces on the veggies).  Eat more veggies than fruits.  DO NOT bake the fruits into a cobbler or add ice cream to them.

{Yes I know this sounds unreasonable.  I didn’t create this stuff, I’m simply passing it along.}

-Eat nothing fried.  (Especially deep fried).

-Stay away from the chip aisle, the candy aisle, the processed foods aisle, and the bakery. And yes, the ice cream section.  Even sherbet is not your friend.  Nor is that “fat free food”:  licorice (and its cohorts).

-A bowl of fruit loops is not a healthy snack even if you use skim milk!  (I know right?  I was shocked too).

 

4- 

You’re gonna have to Exercise.

I know, exercise stinks.  Though I have met an absolutely amazing number of people who actually like it.

{N.B.  I believe there is something seriously wrong with these people and during the zombie apocalypse they will no doubt be the first to go.}

But in order to lose weight, build muscle (which is dynamic tissue and burns more energy than fat you remember) you are gonna have to get yourself outta that chair and move.

If you so inclined you could join a gym or exercise class.

Personally I prefer to torture myself in private (no psychological evaluations please), so I run every day on the treadmill which I forced Scott and my boys to move into my bedroom.

I also venture toward the weight set (almost) daily and have glanced at watched a Jillian Michaels' dvd many times.

This is all excruciating painful and I have nothing more to say about it.

{Well actually I do – just not right now.}

 

5- 

Warning:  I have saved the most terrifying and horrific for last…

I really hate to tell you this, but….

You are going to do numbers one through four FOREVER.

As in FOREVER.  Until. You. Die.

{Or, just perhaps, reach the age of 103 or so.  Which is when I intend on taking at least two days off a week.}

This is known by the frightening term of Maintenance.

As in maintaining something.  Like the ability to fit into your clothes. 

{Or behind the steering wheel and still be able to reach the pedals.  Whichever your goal may be.

And yes these are both entirely worthy goals.}

Once you’ve lost that weight (and you will!) you’re gonna have to keep it up with proper eating and exercise.

Not that the occasional diet coke or ‘lil slice of cheesecake will kill you, it won’t.

{Well unless you're deathly allergic to diet coke or cheesecake.}

They just cannot be a part of your day to day life.

They are Celebrations.  They are Occasional Treats.

And, so all those Exercise & Good Nutrition Lovers out there assure me, you will one day arrive at the point when you won’t even want them.


Yup.

Those Exercise Lovers are funny.

I'm almost gonna miss 'em after the Zombie Apocalypse.

IOSW full moon
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